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MarylandAG
12-09-2005, 07:47 AM
Application for Arkansas Drivers License
Last name: __________________________ First name: (Check appropriate box)

[_] Billy-Bob [_] Bobby-Sue
[_] Billy-Joe [_] Bobby-Jo
[_] Billy-Ray [_] Bobby-Ann
[_] Billy-Sue [_] Bobby-Lee
[_] Billy-Mae [_] Bobby-Ellen
[_] Billy-Jack [_] Bobby-Jean

Age: ____ (if unsure, guess)
Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ Not sure
Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right

Occupation: [_] Farmer [_] Mechanic [_] Hair Dresser
[_] Waitress [_] Unemployed [_] Dirty Politician

Spouse's Name: __________________________
2nd Spouse's Name: _______________________
3rd Spouse's Name: _______________________
Lover's Name: ____________________________
2nd Lover's Name: ________________________
Relationship to spouse:
[_] Sister [_] Aunt [_] Brother [_] Uncle [_] Mother
[_] Son [_] Father [_] Daughter [_] Cousin [_] Pet


Number of children living in household: ___

Number of children living in shed: ___

Number that are yours: ___

Mother's Name: _______________________
Father's Name: _______________________ (If not sure, leave blank)

Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

Do you [_] own or [_] rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box)

___ Total number of vehicles you own
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks

Where you keep them firearms:
[_] truck [_] kitchen [_] bedroom [_] bathroom [_] shed

Model and year of your pickup: ____________ 194_

Do you have a gun rack?
[_] Yes [_] No; If no, please explain:___________________________

Newspapers/magazines you read:
[_] The National Enquirer [_] The Globe [_] TV Guide
[_] Soap Opera Digest [_] Rifle and Shotgun

___ Number of times you've seen a UFO
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO

How often do you bathe:
[_] Weekly [_] Monthly [_] Not Applicable

Color of teeth:
[_] Yellow [_] Brownish-Yellow [_] Brown [_] Black [_] N/A [_] Teeth?

Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
[_] Red-Man

How far is your home from a paved road?
[_] 1 mile [_] 2 miles [_] don't know [_]paved road ?

MarylandAG
12-09-2005, 07:50 AM
Hillybilly Medical Terms

Hillbilly Medical Terms
Benign - What you be after you be eight
Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria
Barium - What you do with dead folks
Cesarean Section - A neighborhood in Rome
Catscan - Searching for the cat
Cauterize - Made eye contact with her
Colic - A sheep dog
Coma - A punctuation mark
D&C - Where Washington is
Dilate - To live longer than your kids do
Enema - Not a friend
Fester - Quicker than someone else
Fibula - A small lie
GI Series - World Series of military baseball
Hangnail - What you hang your coat on
Hospital - The biggest building in town, other than Joe's feed warehouse, or Franks lumber mill
Labor Pain - Getting hurt at work
Morbid - A higher offer than I bid
Medical Staff - A Doctor's cane, sometimes shown with a snake
Nitrates - Cheaper than day rates
Node - I knew it
Outpatient - A person who has fainted
Pap Smear - A fatherhood test
Pelvis - Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative - A letter carrier
Recovery Room - Place to do upholstery
Secretion - Hiding something
Seizure - Roman emperor who lived in the Ceasarean Section
Tablet - A small table to change babies on
Terminal Illness - Getting sick at the train station
Tumor - More than one
Urine - Opposite of mine
Varicose - Near by

polish
12-09-2005, 08:46 AM
Thats pretty funny
Do you have an Maryland Humor?

MarylandAG
12-09-2005, 08:54 AM
I need to find some, damn Terps start riots when the beat Duke at basketball, burning sofas on the street, police in riot gear with rubber bullets, the whole nine yards.

dre1222
12-09-2005, 09:41 AM
I would appreciate it if you didn't make fun of me and my relatives. Thanks.

MarylandAG
12-09-2005, 10:59 AM
I'm sorry Dre, now I feel bad. It all in jest. I will take it down if you'd like.

dre1222
12-09-2005, 12:36 PM
I'm just kidding. I was going to put a winky face but I figured you knew I was kidding.