BigJohn
10-23-2006, 07:38 PM
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/52/Big-12-College-Conference-logo.png (http://www.aggiefans.com/forums/showthread.php?t=11011)Ranking the Big XII - Week 9
1) Texas – Mack Brown sent a fruit basket with an autographed picture of Vince Young to Terrance Nunn on Monday, thanking him for gift-wrapping the t-sip victory. The luckiest team in the Big XII squeaked by the Big Red on a last minute field goal that resulted from Nunn fumbling the ball after a catching a sure-fire, game-ending, would-have-ended-all-the-BCS-whining first down catch. This week, Yeller Teeth and Co. travel to Lubbock to take on Mike “Gilligan” Leach’s School for Bathtub Pirates.
2) Missouri – Pooh’s team rallied from an early turnover and touchdown to beat down the hapless purple kittens of K-State 41-21. Still in the thick of things for the Northern division title, the tiggers have the land thieves of Norman at home this week. Many expect the tiggers send the schooner drivers walking home in dejection.
3) Texas A&M – The cardiac kids were at it again against Okie lite. Thanks to excellent 4th quarter plays by the J-Train, the Legion of Doom and a blocked extra point by Big Red Bryant in OT, the Aggies drove a stake in the heart of the Sunkist-look-alikes’ fanclub for the 3rd year in a row. Next up is Guy “still-can’t-play-with-the-big-boys” Morris’ booger green team in Waco.
4) Nebraksa – On a frozen field in Lincoln, the corn came up just a little short, and not just with their girlfriends. Poised to beat the defending national chumps, Orville Redenbacher’s heroes snatched defeat from the jaws of victory with a late fumble after a first down catch that would have sealed up the game. The ground cornmeal take on diet Okie this week in Still-can’t-beat-A&M-water.
5) Oklahoma – Needing to beat-up a smaller and weaker team to feel better about themselves, the Peter(son)-less Sooners crushed 1-7 Colorado 24-3. Stoopsy’s boys next gear up for the aerial attack of the Tiggers of Mizzou who many expect to turn the Okie boys into the fcrimson and creamed.
6) Texas Tech –Finally snapping a 2 game streak of sunken boats, broken masts and stolen treasure chests, Mike Leach’s pirates finally got a win against lowly Iowa State. The classless clowns next face in-state rival Texas in their annual battle for worst fans in the conference. Tech leads overall in this showdown with their trump cards of flying tortillas and batteries, but Texas has made a strong bid recently with their Vince Young slobber to go along the strong stench of BO from their bangwagon t-shirt fans.
7) Oklahoma State – The girlie-boys of Stillwater couldn’t quite get the job done for homecoming, getting their zipper stuck right when they were about to score. The cowgirls fought bravely against A&M, but had their extra point blocked in the first overtime to end the game and seal their 3rd consecutive loss to the Aggies. Things don’t get better next week as they host the Cornydogs from Nebraska who are eager to avenge their last second loss to the teasippers.
8) Baylor – Taking advantage of another chickenhawk second half meltdown, the gang green slipped by Kansas 36-35. This week, the cubbies pit their 2nd to last place rushing defense against the bruising Texas A&M rushing attack. The green Kool-Aid is being passed around like a sorority girl in Waco, however, with many of the teddy bear faithful guaranteeing a victory, despite being 1-19 against the Aggies over the last 20 years. Coach Morris, the creator of the latest recipe, has stayed mum amid allegations that the green Kool-Aid is really a mixture of green beer and Ecstasy, and the damning evidence that drinking the concoction often leads to wild dancing and delusions that Baylor can “hang with the big boys”.
9) Kansas State – The purple kitten eaters from Missouri chewed up and spit out the poor mildcats from Mahattan to the tune of 41-21. The Big XII Basement Bowl game is next, matching the kittens against the suckage of Iowa State for the worst conference record.
10) Iowa State – Proving once again they are not even close to being a contender for the North division, Iowa State was pillaged by the Mike Leach’s pirates of Lubbock. The Hoovers sucked hard against the classless clowns, but just couldn’t get the job done. Perhaps they should have gotten a lesson from the ladies of Lubbock prior to the game, whose lipstick smudges can be found in the boxers of men across the state of Texas. Next up are the kittens of Manhattan.
11) Kansas – The blue birds of despair sang a sorrowful tune losing to perennial South Division doormat Baylor 36-35. The 2nd straight 2nd half meltdown virtually assures the poor birdies don’t make a bowl game this year. Kansas’ only hope for a win comes this week against barely alive Colorado.
12) Colorado – After acting like a real football team last week, the Buffalo sank back into their own feces and cemented themselves as the worst team in the Big XII barely putting up a fight against the Sooners. Raphie burgers go on sale Saturday when they take on Kansas.
1) Texas – Mack Brown sent a fruit basket with an autographed picture of Vince Young to Terrance Nunn on Monday, thanking him for gift-wrapping the t-sip victory. The luckiest team in the Big XII squeaked by the Big Red on a last minute field goal that resulted from Nunn fumbling the ball after a catching a sure-fire, game-ending, would-have-ended-all-the-BCS-whining first down catch. This week, Yeller Teeth and Co. travel to Lubbock to take on Mike “Gilligan” Leach’s School for Bathtub Pirates.
2) Missouri – Pooh’s team rallied from an early turnover and touchdown to beat down the hapless purple kittens of K-State 41-21. Still in the thick of things for the Northern division title, the tiggers have the land thieves of Norman at home this week. Many expect the tiggers send the schooner drivers walking home in dejection.
3) Texas A&M – The cardiac kids were at it again against Okie lite. Thanks to excellent 4th quarter plays by the J-Train, the Legion of Doom and a blocked extra point by Big Red Bryant in OT, the Aggies drove a stake in the heart of the Sunkist-look-alikes’ fanclub for the 3rd year in a row. Next up is Guy “still-can’t-play-with-the-big-boys” Morris’ booger green team in Waco.
4) Nebraksa – On a frozen field in Lincoln, the corn came up just a little short, and not just with their girlfriends. Poised to beat the defending national chumps, Orville Redenbacher’s heroes snatched defeat from the jaws of victory with a late fumble after a first down catch that would have sealed up the game. The ground cornmeal take on diet Okie this week in Still-can’t-beat-A&M-water.
5) Oklahoma – Needing to beat-up a smaller and weaker team to feel better about themselves, the Peter(son)-less Sooners crushed 1-7 Colorado 24-3. Stoopsy’s boys next gear up for the aerial attack of the Tiggers of Mizzou who many expect to turn the Okie boys into the fcrimson and creamed.
6) Texas Tech –Finally snapping a 2 game streak of sunken boats, broken masts and stolen treasure chests, Mike Leach’s pirates finally got a win against lowly Iowa State. The classless clowns next face in-state rival Texas in their annual battle for worst fans in the conference. Tech leads overall in this showdown with their trump cards of flying tortillas and batteries, but Texas has made a strong bid recently with their Vince Young slobber to go along the strong stench of BO from their bangwagon t-shirt fans.
7) Oklahoma State – The girlie-boys of Stillwater couldn’t quite get the job done for homecoming, getting their zipper stuck right when they were about to score. The cowgirls fought bravely against A&M, but had their extra point blocked in the first overtime to end the game and seal their 3rd consecutive loss to the Aggies. Things don’t get better next week as they host the Cornydogs from Nebraska who are eager to avenge their last second loss to the teasippers.
8) Baylor – Taking advantage of another chickenhawk second half meltdown, the gang green slipped by Kansas 36-35. This week, the cubbies pit their 2nd to last place rushing defense against the bruising Texas A&M rushing attack. The green Kool-Aid is being passed around like a sorority girl in Waco, however, with many of the teddy bear faithful guaranteeing a victory, despite being 1-19 against the Aggies over the last 20 years. Coach Morris, the creator of the latest recipe, has stayed mum amid allegations that the green Kool-Aid is really a mixture of green beer and Ecstasy, and the damning evidence that drinking the concoction often leads to wild dancing and delusions that Baylor can “hang with the big boys”.
9) Kansas State – The purple kitten eaters from Missouri chewed up and spit out the poor mildcats from Mahattan to the tune of 41-21. The Big XII Basement Bowl game is next, matching the kittens against the suckage of Iowa State for the worst conference record.
10) Iowa State – Proving once again they are not even close to being a contender for the North division, Iowa State was pillaged by the Mike Leach’s pirates of Lubbock. The Hoovers sucked hard against the classless clowns, but just couldn’t get the job done. Perhaps they should have gotten a lesson from the ladies of Lubbock prior to the game, whose lipstick smudges can be found in the boxers of men across the state of Texas. Next up are the kittens of Manhattan.
11) Kansas – The blue birds of despair sang a sorrowful tune losing to perennial South Division doormat Baylor 36-35. The 2nd straight 2nd half meltdown virtually assures the poor birdies don’t make a bowl game this year. Kansas’ only hope for a win comes this week against barely alive Colorado.
12) Colorado – After acting like a real football team last week, the Buffalo sank back into their own feces and cemented themselves as the worst team in the Big XII barely putting up a fight against the Sooners. Raphie burgers go on sale Saturday when they take on Kansas.